Fastoosh Kaloosh

From Flex Entertainment

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"That is not Commandus Waterfordi! That is Fastoosh Kaloosh!" ― Lama Doodle on the Flex Entertainment Fan Server[source]

Commander Fred Waterford usually referred to as "Fastoosh Kaloosh" was a member of the Republic of Gilead. He is known for being a fanatic Chrisitian, slave master, rapist and clown. He arrived in the Flex Entertainment out of nowhere after being mentioned by Lama Doodle over the days before his arrival. When Flex Entertainment server users were asked to look up "Commandus Waterfordi", pictures of "Commander Waterford" came up. When asked about these images Doodle says it is not Commandus Waterfordi but a guy called Fastoosh Kaloosh. Lama Doodle originally believed him to be dead until he joined the Discord server. Due to his apparent criminal charges as well as his arrogant attitude he is one of the most hated members of the Discord server.

Early Life[edit | edit source]

Not much is even known about who Fastoosh Kaloosh is. He is apparently the character Commander Fred Waterford from the series "The Handmaid's Tale", portrayed by Joseph Fiennes.

Adult Life[edit | edit source]

Fastoosh Kaloosh's adult life is as much of a mystery as his early life. We do know that he is not only a horrible human being but he was also apparently arrested by Canadian authorities when he crossed the border into Canada.

Fastoosh died on July 16th, 2021 after being beaten to death.

Appearance[edit | edit source]

Fred is tall, has brown hair and a brown beard, and soft brown eyes. He is in his early 40s and has generally handsome looks. He is often seen in a suit, as he is an esteemed commander in Gilead. His suits are usually standard blue, grey or black but he has posted a picture of himself wearing an orange suit as well. Many have criticized him for having the worst hairline in the game due to the similarity to a McDonald's logo.

Discography[edit | edit source]

Singles[edit | edit source]

List of singles
Title Year Streams Certification Album
YouTube
"Blessed be the Fruit" 2019 204
  • YT: 2x Plastic
non-album singles
"We've Been Sent Good Weather" 45

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • Flex Entertainment artist Lil Squeaky got a 1 month free trial of Hulu to watch the Handmaid's Tale in an attempt to better understand the strange behavior of Fastoosh in the Flex Entertainment server.
  • Whenever asked about the numerous crimes he has committed, Fastoosh responds that he is a "servant of Gilead" and that he is not a rapist.
  • Fastoosh's wife Serena has apparently had an affair with Lama Doodle.
  • According to his comments in the Flex Entertainment Fan Server, Fastoosh is apparently a very good cook especially when it comes to vegetables.
  • Fastoosh Kaloosh has stated numerous times that he believes that the review website AOTY is a dance. He even gave "steps" to it on the Flex Fan Server.
  • It is believed that Fastoosh Kaloosh is responsible for the FLEX LEAKS account on SoundCloud due to him appearing on the bootleg compilation album of leaks as well as the account itself.

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